week 35: red

red.

i measure my life in wasted minutes waiting for muni or bart to arrive. my life measured in the changing traffic lights repeating over and over.

green
yellow
and
red.

topic 38: memory

this has been bouncing around my head for awhile...

i wish they were my words.

This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
I'll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings disappear.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

topic 37: wind

sometimes i miss having a car, its usually pretty windy where i live and it makes waiting for the bus a pretty miserable experience. the other thing about waiting for the bus is all that time that it leaves to get lost in thought. i need ro get an ipod or something.

week 34: superhero

i didnt want to do this one. i fought with it, i probably should have colored it.

four color traditional style,

i was, for two and a half years, a dad.

i helped my ex raise a beautiful girl fron the age of one and a half to four.

and K had at some point bought a wonder woman pajama suit for C...

and the two years that we went to wonder con, and ape, C would wear this "costume" to the convention.

and it was a huge draw, everyone wanted to have a pic taken with her.

funny-ish story about her first con, one of the guys dressed up as a stormtrooper accidently stepped on her foot which caused her to remember, months later , while watching episode 4, how the mean man in white hurt her... it was an issue at the 06 con when she saw the troops on the floor.

anyway...

here is a pic i took of C and ms. monster.



i really miss her, i really miss being a father, a dad, a superhero.

robot,yet again

first attmpt at filling in the blanks, color-wise

3d robot

needs a few more tweaks in the model, texturing and rigging. animating him could be fun, or just posing him in still scenes. inspired (obviously) but the little robot sketches ive been doing lately.

still not sure which way to go in the texturing department.

week 33: 80's

i hate being late on these...

i really didnt
know what to do with this one, i didnt want to do another 1980's piece, ive done one already for this project, and i didnt want to do an old person.

one of the best entries i saw on IF last week was a pastel covered photograph of the stairs in the metreon here in san francisco.

i guess this piece has something to do with the city by the bay as well.

i grew up in places that would hit the 100's during the summer easy, and when you live in these conditions you adapt. having moved to san franciso some fifve yeas ago i have found that i have lost my tolerance for heat, and that on the rare days that the temperature hits the 80's i be come a sweaty icky mess.

thank the gods for cool baths and/or showers.

blog of the day award!

fify-two fridays recieved the best blog of the day award!

dont know what to do with this one...

...but i liked it.

robot, third times a charm

just another i did tonight.

i thought id share.

Sugar Frosted Goodness: imaginary friend

i guess i wasnt really popular enough as a child to have had one...

i think that if i were to have had one it would have been a smoking, drinking, swearing, monkey.

damn... i want a smoking, drinking, swearing monkey now.

she said its cold outside

and hands me a raincoat.

week 32: buzz(ed)

buzz, buzzed.

there was this time, a short time, in my life some years back that... well its hard to explain.

my life was as close to ideal as it could be. i had a great apartmentm, a second chance with a beautiful woman who i had dated back in highschool. and we made some great memories.

looking back its hard sometimes knowing all that is gone.

but thats not the point of this one, it was one of the first nights that she had driven down to stay over.
we had been laying in my bed watching a movie and drinking wine, when the movie ended we turned to one another and touched foreheads and smiled.

im not sure if it was the wine, or the closeness, or, well the nudity...

but i do know that i felt comfortably buzzed.

that was a great night.

robots revisited

this one, for what its worth, is for mel, and how she liked the simple bellyache robot. i guess thats about it.

it simply was a sketch i did when doing the others, and i should stress, there is nothing nore than a drawing here, a robot dealing with emotions.

and that is all.

end transmission

week 32: buzz

god bless her.

i had this wonderfully lame birthday last month, not that it really makes any difference, its been over ten years since ive had any expectations for a birthday.

at the very least there was awkward family trivial persuit

but aside from all that, my aunt, who is not noted as a gift giver, gave me this nice retro clock, this metal piece that ticks and buzzes.

well i forgot that it was kept in a bag that i rarely use these days and for a week i kept hearing this buzzing sound untili checked the bag for my razor.

and then i found the source of the buzz

begin

the clenched hands at the beginning of the night. the sun has set, the moon is full, and i find myself still empty.

religion has been tried and found lacking, as has love, and drink, and any other vice imaginable.

for i have know them, i have know them all.

there seems to be this hole inside of me that nothing can fill and it might as well be vice denial or escape.

its just that i've begun to suspect that i am not destined to find contentment, nor happiness.

that is all

week 31: phoenix

this was one of my moments of rebirth, it would later prepare me to let things that arent working, arent healthy go.

an exerpt form last weekend:

"two years ago i would have stayed and slept with her, took whatever she was willing to give in whatever context. but im not him, im not that loser anymore. deep down i feel him fighting for rebirth."

robot

this was is another late entry for sugar frosted goodness robot prompt.

there really isnt anything deep or anything behind these ones , i just thought id share them.