10/31/10

spent v.2


regarding missed... stuff


i hate going to the movies alone.

i often wonder how many films i have missed out on seeing because id been dumped.

or that "awesome" moment when you see the last movie you watched as a couple in a theater go to video, and you think... huh, already?

its also funny that i cannot remember the years of the relationships that ive had but by who i sat next to during some flick and what the film was.

is that sad, or just normal?

anyway i was sitting alone at the spot i usually haunt, no pun intended, and was subjected to "halloween night."

surrounded by more men in drag than i had been since my college years in san francisco, and slutty witches, nurses, schoolgirls... well you name a womens costume and add "slutty" in front of it and youll get the idea, and possibly an erection or wet, depending on your gender and/or proclivity.

as i mentioned above, for whatever reason i am not really able to track things in general by date per se, but by things like what i was reading, watching, or hearing at the time.

so my life is measured by things like:

spacehog: in the meantime... highschool: senior
eurythmics: sweet dreams... before my parents divorced
the weakerthans: watermark... just before college and her

tom petty: free falling... dad died (in her later and more dementia ridden years my grandmother would ask if i had a father, i told her he died, and she asked how... so i responded "lead poisoning" my mom spit out her coffee... grandma didnt get it... he ate a bullet, sorry for that aside.)

or days, not dates, again no pun intended, but things like holidays, like halloween.

and how i had this real great one that i had spent with this woman who would eventually crush me in ways that im sure will make some lucky therapist very rich someday if i ever get around to it.

i was sitting there tonight and thinking that it wasnt even ten years ago that i was spending this holiday, having fun.

and not sitting alone in a fog of smoke and drowning in an ocean of people grasping my pen like wreckage trying to stay above water and i remembered a quote i heard once which i will paraphrase here.

everything i do
was more fun
when you were
doing it with me.

u2 - one

Is it getting better

Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...

Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers

One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life

One


for my first try at spent:
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