week 10: cultivate

im not sure why these prompts have been so much more difficult to relate to lately. it could be that they are not as inspiring as they used to be, but i doubt that.

i suspect it has more to do with the situation i find myself in.

so this week was cultivate.

as in nurture, growth, etc...

see, i made a mistake today.

it wasnt intentional but then, mistakes by their nature usually arent.

i went on facebook, saw that a friend posted, and clicked on her site... to see that she was a mutual friend of an ex.

an ex with a new user pic that kind of hints that shes with someone else.

now i know that i shouldnt care, and mostly i dont... i think.

and really when i think about it, its some other guy that gets to deal with all that shit that comes along with a hug every once in awhile and maybe... rarely, more.

but it takes time to cultivate love, and even more for hate, and you cant have one without the other.

i think that ive gotten good at losing people that i invested so much of mu heart in.

i guess, all in all, its  a testomony to how much they mattered, as in how much i hate them now.

i wish it made me feel better.

i may have posted these lyrics before but, well... whatever, enjoy.

bright eyes: something vague

Now and again it seems worse than it is,
but mostly the view is accurate.
You see your breath in the air as you'll climb up the stairs
to that coffin you call your apartment.
And you sink in your chair, brush the snow from your hair
and drink the cold away.
And you're not really sure what you're doing this for
but you need something to fill up the days.
A few more hours.
There's a dream in my brain that just won't go away.
It's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago
And I'm standing on a bridge in the town where I lived
as a kid with my mom and my brothers.
And then the bridge disappears and I'm standing on air
with nothing holding me.
And I hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark,
for all those starving eyes to see,
like the ones we've wished on.
But now I'm confused. Is this death really you?
And do these dreams have any meaning?
No. No, I think it's more like a ghost that's been following us both.
Something vague that we're not seeing,
something more like a feeling.