these things, these words and images in my mind, it's often far too loud in here for my tastes.
all those years running, and knowing that the moment i stopped would be when all of that, these things would become real. i don't know what i was hoping for, "living"that way, i think it was with some vague idea that if i could keep that pace up for long enough that i'd burn myself out before the consequences became manifest
.i don't like how i felt, i still don't sometimes although it's not as often these days.
i spent the last ten or fifteen years treading water with weights tied around my ankles and a stomach cramp, i have some good memories, and for what it's worth, i have few regrets. i know how it was, i get it, i so fucking get it.
this past year has been a gift, it's not everyone that is fortunate enough to find what i have, let alone be willing to be open and ready to accept it - for me it took what it took.
this is my generation's anthem, well one of them anyway.
nirvana - smells like teen spirit
Load up on guns, bring your friends
And I forget just why I taste
Hello, hello, hello, how low?