travel

these things, these words and images in my mind, it's often far too loud in here for my tastes. all those years running, and knowing that the moment i stopped would be when all of that, these things would become real. i don't know what i was hoping for, "living"that way, i think it was with some vague idea that if i could keep that pace up for long enough that i'd burn myself out before the consequences became manifest .i don't like how i felt, i still don't sometimes although it's not as often these days. i spent the last ten or fifteen years treading water with weights tied around my ankles and a stomach cramp, i have some good memories, and for what it's worth, i have few regrets. i know how it was, i get it, i so fucking get it.  this past year has been a gift, it's not everyone that is fortunate enough to find what i have, let alone be willing to be open and ready to accept it - for me it took what it took. this is my generation's anthem, well one of them anyway.  nirvana - smells like teen spirit Load up on guns, bring your friends It's fun to lose and to pretend She's over bored and self-assured Oh no, I know a dirty word Hello, hello, hello, how low? Hello, hello, hello With the lights out, it's less dangerous Here we are now, entertain us I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now, entertain us A mulatto An albino A mosquito My libido Yeah I'm worse at what I do best And for this gift I feel blessed Our little group has always been And always will until the end Hello, hello, hello, how low? Hello, hello, hello With the lights out, it's less dangerous Here we are now, entertain us I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now, entertain us A mulatto An albino A mosquito My libido Yeah And I forget just why I taste Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile I found it hard, it's hard to find Oh well, whatever, never mind. Hello, hello, hello, how low? Hello, hello, hello With the lights out, it's less dangerous Here we are now, entertain us I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now, entertain us A mulatto An albino A mosquito My libido Yeah a denial.