5/6/11

week 16: lesson


heh, a good one i guess.

it has been mentioned by two people that i interact with on some level of consistancy that maybe this project has run it course, and that, from the other, its nothing more than navel gazing... the latter source once referred to this whole project as "masturbation" as well.

i know that these posts are usually kind of downers, its not intentional, i wish i could write and draw about my life and have it be as sugary sweet as many of the other posts i see here every week.

but im writing about what is happening in my life, where i am, how im doing, and, hopefully, provide me with a documented timeline of my progress or lack therof.

that said, lesson.

id like to think that im learning about myself in all of this, life is nothing but a series of experiences or lessons that eventually define us.

we either learn from them or find new ways to make the same mistakes.

and i seem to be very good at that, the latter that is.

or its an art class, and you learn what muscles go where and get to draw nude people before lunch.


or its drawing and writing notes in a bar.


or its letting yourself fall in love with the knowledge that it leaves you so very open to being crushed.


or its knowing that something is slipping away and you dont know how to fix it... again.

i know that this is older stuff but thats kind of the point and im feeling a bit nostolgic.

the fray - how to save a life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God, he hears you
And pray to God, he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

How to save a life


ps: i can draw feet, so there

4 comments:

Joshua Fountain said...

Sorry I didn't comment yesterday, and that I didn't have time to check this out Friday morning.. Old works or not, they hit the mark. The sketches and notes/poetry from you barstool sitting, in particular. I hope you are learning about yourself, and I hope you manage to learn what a brilliant soul resides within your cage of flesh.
Love you man,
- Josh

niftynikhil said...

great sketches!!

don't be apologetic about the subject, it don't matter.

it don't matter how e\people may call it, low, downer, dumb, older, smart, beautiful, gross, it don't matter even how you wanna call(or see) it..

the point is, you're being real.
you're connecting with yourself, and being truthful about it.

that's the only gift, one can aspire for, if you really really wanna start learning about yourself.

you already have that gift,
you don't fake a word, or a line, just so it looks/sounds good.

that's real.

and the real alone is beautiful, no matter how ugly it may seem to the eyes..

you know what the beautiful part is?
its that you choose to show the filth inside, that others may strive to hide.
beauty outisde means not much to you,
inside out, is what you strive for..

you've learnt the greatest of the lessons man,
being true to the inside of you..

go for it..

besides all the other sketches,
the half woman is pretty hot,
did you make that yourself?

Unknown said...

thank you both for your comments, josh you are a rare soul and i am blessed to know you.

nifty, thank you again for taking the time past taking the time to visit my site, and commenting.

and thank you for what you said, it has been some time since a stranger... well thank you.

and yes, for the record, i did draw the nude woman, it was part of an anatomy final.

Splomo said...

Oh Patrick,

May you trust that your energies are not wasted, that what moves you right now is all right, and that what you bravely amplify here (and elsewhere) is sorely needed.

Please enjoy knowing that your nerve and openness on the blog have power to resonate and transmute and propagate and go forth to grace another person, and another, and another.

Redemption comes eventually to all broken things via some masterful mechanism in which
sweetness + surprise
are both essential elements in the charm, and signatures of its veracity.

It's okay to love poorly, clumsily, anemically, incompletely, blindly, and even with foreknowledge that the whole enterprise is damned and hopeless. Do it anyway. Start with yourself.

(That is not a masturbation joke. Whoever it is that you "interact with on some level of consistency" who said such a thing is a prick. I hope you can laugh at him/her.)

Here's a high five. Thank you for blogging well.

Beth