last night i went outside, after a day of dealing with not only helping to look after (read: picking up, moving her from chair to toilet to chair and back again, then trying to get water into her) my poor grandmother (seriously, honestly, in a humane, patient and loving way) but also with the ex showing up at my house at three thirty in the morning while my aforementioned grandmother, plus my mother, and cousin (looking after my grandmother for the night) were obviously sleeping, she (the ex) decided that ringing the doorbell was a good idea.
we had another dialogue that illustrated how things are basically irreconcilable and that apparently i... only focus on the negative.
heh, go figure.
and i said that i cant go from being something more to somthing less.
that i cant go from being the boyfriend to being the friend
so after she talked at me for the better part of an hour about how she isnt in love with me anymore but still cares, she went home.
and i went back inside for a minute.
then i decided to go back outside and saw the moon hanging low on the horizon.