week 1: winter

this story happend one winter, at the begining of winter break.

many years ago i was (and still am) friends with a guy who went on to a local university

which mean that i could go get college tail on weekends without the essays.

it is funny that it ended up that i had to bone up on my education, no pun intended, get these poor young women to basically spread their sheets...

i am(was/is/are) an asshole.

i hope, id like to think that I've made some progress but i am not so sure (although i know that i do prefer a crossword puzzle to an unassuming young woman these days - they being somebodies daughters and all.)


i was out with a friend earlier who told me the story of how i did the most epic thing in the world.

and this is even better than the time i stole all the wheel locks off the bikes of the apartment complex in davis...

i had been at a hippie party, and another friend and i decided to knock down their teepee, and liberate (read: steal) some beer.

pockets full we ran to the car amidst the floating ashes (teepee+bonfire=civic event)

on the way home one of the guys in the back seat threw up in the street when we screamed at the...

one second.

after the hippie party we went to an all night 24 hour restaurant.

and someone (read: me) bet another guy that he could not drink an entire bottle of Tabasco sauce and a glass of milk.

high off his burning of a hippie party he accepted.

the deal was drink both and i would pay, he got half way through before the waitress who had served us our food took pity (read, again: did not want someone to puke in her section) and comped our meal.

we (not he) ate like kings.

that leads me to a spot in my like that is only vaguely remembered.

there have been many drinks over the years and when in the company of my friend, there might have been a time or two that i may bumped into things of no consequence with his truck, i am not proud to say it but then again i was young, and even that doesn't excuse it. still it only happened once or twice and no one was ever hurt.

that said.

we were driving home from the restaurant, i was not driving, i, sadly was in the back seat next to the guy that
who was stuck in the middle who started throwing up.

somehow he managed to hold it down until the driver finally pulled over, we were all screaming at him to stop the car.

and then that leads to the two women.

the ones we picked up at the hippie party.


i can not tell you their names, and, more is the point, they looked like.


and  i cannot tell you what stupid argument we got into (my friend and i) although i am kinda sure that it had to do with the pair of girls

I'm pretty sure that there may have been a midget cop (read: actual policeman of dwarfism stature)

but i do know that i can tell you this...

he left his truck cab window open, and i pissed into his front seat, the stream was mighty, it crept up from handle to window to seat.

that was around 3 in the morning.

he was (pardon the pun) pissed but by 6 we were playing video games and laughing about it.

and no, i did not help clean it up.
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