week 11: sweet

sugar and spice and all that... despite my inherent tendencies towards pessimism, depression and a general sense of malaise i am making attempts to have a more positive outlook on things. this is easier said than done, i know that it's easy to smile during the summer and all that, when things are going well, when you're in love, i know that i've been caught up in that feeling of euphoria, for lack of a better term.

however, when things are like they are now, where the only real positive things are dealing with painful shit that i've been avoiding for most of my life, not drinking myself retarded and a plan to finally tackle making an honest attempt at selling the whole art thing it's pretty easy to feel like not all that much is being accomplished. mostly i feel like i'm expending a huge amount of effort with no real tangible results to mark any sort of progress. but again, that's the negative attitude that i was talking about earlier.

so i don't have to be in love to remember love, i can remember the better parts of failed relationships rather than the messy, painful ends, and i can smile a little more often than i used to for so many years.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i don't have to rely on what is or isn't going on in my life define me as a person, and i think that i used to do that more often than not.

so as a counterpoint to the piece did on whisper a few months back - i submit love.

this one i'm adding as a bonus, it will be the centerfold pin up in the first issue of fifty-two fridays, volume one that will be printed very soon, just one of the extra goodies you get for exchanging green pieces of paper for white ones, stapled together and covered in black ink. yes, i am aware that you could probably print this out on your own but i'm pretty sure that anyone who reads this on a semi-regular basis would have better ethics than that. (this is me, having faith in humanity once again... don't make me regret it.)