sugar and spice and all that... despite my inherent tendencies towards pessimism, depression and a general sense of malaise i am making attempts to have a more positive outlook on things. this is easier said than done, i know that it's easy to smile during the summer and all that, when things are going well, when you're in love, i know that i've been caught up in that feeling of euphoria, for lack of a better term.
however, when things are like they are now, where the only real positive things are dealing with painful shit that i've been avoiding for most of my life, not drinking myself retarded and a plan to finally tackle making an honest attempt at selling the whole art thing it's pretty easy to feel like not all that much is being accomplished. mostly i feel like i'm expending a huge amount of effort with no real tangible results to mark any sort of progress. but again, that's the negative attitude that i was talking about earlier.
so i don't have to be in love to remember love, i can remember the better parts of failed relationships rather than the messy, painful ends, and i can smile a little more often than i used to for so many years.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i don't have to rely on what is or isn't going on in my life define me as a person, and i think that i used to do that more often than not.
so as a counterpoint to the piece did on whisper a few months back - i submit love.